Parental Alienation Awareness Website

Another inspiring letter from Cindy

I am a person who has always tried to apply what I hear, learn.... Two days in a row I listened to presentations from Rachel's Challenge, the tragic story of Rachel Scott, who was murdered at Columbine High School. Although the presentation was sad, it is meant to be inspirational. Dave, the presenter, talked about acts of kindness and proactive things anyone could do to make this world a better place based on the writings and past actions of Rachel Scott. Of course my wheels started turning towards a topic I advocate for, which is educating as many people as I can about parental alienation.
After the presentation I approached Dave and told him two things he spoke of that struck a chord with me. Those two things were "positive gossiping" and the tootsie pop.
Dave's presentation included a story about positive gossiping as follows.

There were to men who were distant, angry with each other. A third man took it upon himself to begin gossiping in a good way to bring forth reunification. He would go to one man and say, "Hey ___, guess what ___ said about you." Immediately the man became defensive but then the man went on to say, "He said that he thought the speech you gave the other day was wonderful." The man pretended not to care, but his mood slightly changed. The gossip man went back and forth between these two men until eventaully they became best of friends..... Naturally we would all like to hear that someone was talking us up. Our children are no different. It is important that we find caring individuals that are willing to share positive gossip with our alienated children to break down the shell around their heart, and that is where the tootsie pop comes in.

You have to keep licking a tootsie pop before you get to the center, the heart. If you bite it, it does not last as long and this action is too abrupt. Our children's hearts are like tootsie pops. Sadly, our children have been encouraged to build a wall, or shell, around their hearts, to protect them from us, the rejected parents. The construction of that shell has included the constant and intense denigration they hear from the other parent about us, as well as the covert and overt messages the alienating parent and their family sends. Psychologically it feels safer to remain in that shell. They do not know how to deal with what has been done to them, they are either unaware of truth or choose to deny. If they do choose to make a move towards the rejected parent they are left with feelings of guilt for being disloyal to the alienators.

What is the answer? Find positive gossipers. Educate as many people as you can. Send everyone you know, including schools, counselors, judges, links to YouTubes about parental alienation (PA), peer reviewed articles, brochures.... Write letters to the editor, to talk shows and more and pray that your child can break free from that bondage inflicted on them. Pray they break out of that shell and are able to grow big hearts, to love themselves and to love others.

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